Booby talk

So I found this post in my drafts from quite a long time ago. I guess I never posted it because well, I'm not sure why, but I think it's time to click Publish so my kids can read this one day if they need it.... and here it goes.

I don’t really ever do this on here but this is near and dear to my heart. Enter Beth stepping on to her soapbox.

I came across this article today titled “NYC Mayor wants to lock up formula. Is he going too far?” I had to take a step back and think to myself what is Mayor Bloomberg really trying to accomplish with this? He’s trying to let Moms know that they should breastfeed because it’s the best choice they can make for their children and lock up formula so they don’t have easy access to it. “Breast is Best” we’ve all heard it. This is for my kids and their wives, my nephews, nieces far down the road, I mean really far down the road, but they will always have it to read.

Neither Tyler or Zac were breastfed. When I was pregnant with Tyler, I had total intentions to breastfeed. We went to the classes and learned everything there was to know about breastfeeding, BEFORE he arrived. It seemed easy, so natural, they show you pictures of ladies looking all nice with a sweet little baby latched on perfectly suckling away. To make a long story short, it turns out I didn’t have any milk. So things weren’t so sweet and natural for me. I spent a week crying my eyes out because “Breast is Best” and as a first time Mom I felt like a failure, this phrase was imprinted in my brain. Add to that Tyler crying his eyes out because the poor kid was hungry (but heck what did we know about babies) and our first days as new parents was nothing short of crazy, could have been avoided hell (or at least some of the craziness could have been avoided). When breastfeeding wasn’t working for me, I cried, I thought I failed and I doubted myself. The first thing I needed to do as a Mom for my child wasn’t working. Thankfully, the advice I got from the wonderful women in my life was to feed him. Fill up a bottle with formula and feed him. And that we finally did. Turns out our new little baby was just hungry...go figure. Once I got over the fact that my new baby wouldn’t end up eating out of a dumpster later on in life because he wasn’t breastfed, things got better. I won’t lie, from time to time I would think what if…he’s not smart or he doesn’t develop like he should. Slowly though I got over it. It was hard though.

From the time you get pregnant until the time you bring your sweet baby in to the world, you hear so much parenting advice about everything that your ears are ready to fall off. Take all of this advice with a grain of a salt. What works for you, may not work for the next person. Every Baby and Mom is different. Every family is different. So, if you and your wife bring home your first baby, just remember, do what’s best for YOU. Yes, Breast is Best. But best for who? It’s best for the women who can do it, whose babies latch on and suck away like no one’s business, best for some, but not for others. Breast is best for the people that it works for and choose to do it. Don’t feel guilty if it doesn’t work or for that matter if you just choose not to do it. Don’t feel like a failure. Feel like the best parents ever that you care enough to feed your baby whatever it is that works for YOU. Nurture and love them, make sure they thrive and give enough hugs and kisses that their cheeks are red and their batting you away because their sick of your kisses. That’s what matters (our pediatrician pretty much uttered those exact same words to us too...Dr. Joshi won't ever know how much she helped me!)

When it came time to have Zac, I requested formula to be brought to the room before he was even born. I will tell you though, that once again I had a moment of should I try to breastfeed and then my awesome husband reminded me of what my plan was and to be confident in it. The nurse never batted an eye and brought up 6 bottles so we would be ready for when he was born. No one at the hospital ever made me feel like I was making a bad choice. Ever. I didn’t need to explain myself as to why I wasn’t breastfeeding and the nurses didn’t have to get permission from anyone to honor my request. This was our child after all, no one else’s. It was a totally different experience than I had with Tyler. No random ladies tweaking my nipples (sorry TMI), no plastic boob shields and no pumps that sounded like a small aircraft landing in my room. Maybe it was because this was round 2 and we were confident we were doing what was right for US and OUR family. And maybe it was because I really didn’t give a shit what anyone thought this time. And this time again, I'm pretty sure there was no milk.

So boys, I think you get the point here. Please believe in yourselves and the decisions you make regarding your children because at the end of the day Mayor Bloomberg isn’t up with you at 3am trying to get your baby to latch on or trying to help your milk come in. By the way, I’m still waiting for my milk. I can laugh about this now and look back and think I was so crazy for thinking all of those off the wall things like my child wouldn’t develop right or be smart because he wasn’t breastfed. Since giving birth to Tyler, I’ve watched so many friends go through so much with this and my heart aches for them knowing how they feel because it's not an easy thing to do for a lot of people. And whatever they end up doing I fully support their decision. Let the choice to breast or bottle-feed stay with the person who deserves to make it…the mom, not the mayor.

And to you Mayor Bloomberg. I applaud you for taking an interest in this and trying to make sure that women consider breastfeeding as their primary source of feeding their child. But, what I don’t applaud is the fact that this campaign will lead some Mom’s, specifically first time Mom’s, to believe that breastfeeding is the only choice giving formula a bad aura and Mom's will beat themselves up if it doesn’t work, it will add to the idea that their children will not thrive any other way. There’s enough things to beat yourselves up about as a Mom, we don’t have to add to it. And having to resort to the hospital stash of “locked up” formula shouldn’t be one of them. So, Mr. Mayor, when you have your next baby and go through 9 months of pregnancy, deliver a baby (I recommend not waiting for the epidural cause boy did it hurt to deliver a baby without one), experience the hormones that go along with said pregnancy and childbirth and then try to get your little one latched one (oh yeah and add in a little nipple tweaking along the way). Call me dude. And we’ll talk.

Until then, I’ll continue to raise my kids the best I can, making choices I think are best for them and I quote a few teachers at Tyler’s school “Save your pennies Beth, he’s going to Harvard one day”. and "Have you had his IQ tested, you know there's 4 year olds in Mensa"...and I’m sure his little brother won’t be far behind.

Stepping down from the soapbox.